Guide Domestic Violence: My Freedom from Abuse

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Forms of Violence

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  4. About domestic and family violence

If we take the time to look within, we'll discover our desires never left. Our desires indicate the path we need to take to become who we want to be. Wanting to stay a victim locks us inside the suffering. Suffering is not the same as pain. Suffering is the story we continue to perpetuate after an experience. Sometimes those stories may seem more important than freedom. But what we have to realize is no matter how deep or long we've lived in the darkness, in hell, it's never too late to move into the light, to choose something different.

We must ask ourselves what we need to be able to take that first step in the direction of our hearts. Brainwashing and manipulation are tools an abuser uses to destroy its victim. As a result, we adopt habits and beliefs that keep us locked inside our own prisons. We've put up walls of self-protection and suppressed our true feelings and desires. We've claimed a new identity, one that is unrecognizable to us. But, once we identify the behaviors that have paralyzed us, we can get to the root of those thoughts and feelings that are influencing those behaviors. We must be conscious of our daily choices and their consequences.

We should also consider the limiting beliefs we've associated with these destructive behaviors. We have to understand these limiting beliefs are a misinterpretation of our pasts. The past does not determine the future. We must challenge habitual ways of speaking and negative thought patterns, and take action to change what creates unhappiness in our lives. The change in our thought patterns won't happen overnight but with consistent effort, we will begin to feel better soon after shifting our beliefs. Accepting responsibility is one of the most important elements in our journey to freedom. We need to stop mourning for what could've been and accept responsibility for our part.

Responsibility is making a conscious choice to choose our response in every moment to everything that happens around us. We are not responsible for the abuse, but we must own what we chose to do after the abuse.

When we blame others, we give up our power to choose differently in the future. Owning that we've had a hand in what has happened, we're accepting responsibility for finding solutions and making improvements in our lives.

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Accepting responsibility is a measure of one's self-worth and a true sign of courage and wisdom. By accepting responsibility, we gain the freedom to create the life we desire. In the future, we can choose for ourselves: what we accept, what we believe, and what we value. The only way to create a new story is to stop living the same old story. Instead of letting life happen to us, we can take responsibility so we can create our own path. Forgiveness will free us, heal us, nurture us, and release us.

Forgiveness will bring us into the light, fill us with compassion and empower us. In order for forgiveness to happen, something has to die.

Housing benefit is the lifeblood of women’s refuges – and it's under threat

A fantasy or an idea of what we thought a situation was or should be, an expectation, an assumption or an illusion. However, along with that death, there is a rebirth, a new understanding, a realization, an enlightening, a healing. We develop a deeper sense of self. We free ourselves from the shackles of anger. Forgiving doesn't mean we have to trust that person again.

Freedom After Domestic Abuse- 5 Ways to Step Out of the Darkness | HuffPost

It doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. It also doesn't mean we will tolerate any abuse or lack of respect in the future. We forgive others so we can be set free. Understanding the importance of forgiveness will open up our lives to more peace and freedom.

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We must remember, every difficult situation is an opportunity to learn and grow. Each lesson is an opportunity to strengthen our soul. Nobody has the power to make us feel anything without our consent. Laura's Story. Help us protect and change lives for the better Without people like you we cannot continue our vital crisis support, practical guidance and the emotional care so that women, families and individuals can rebuild their lives.

Find out today how you can free people from domestic abuse and violence. Do you think you need help? Get involved. Anyone can join the fight against domestic abuse Do you want to join the fight against domestic abuse in your community? Visit the Portal. Delivering Made of Money has taught us that women in refuges need more support to build on their money skills and it makes sense to help staff to do this because the turnover of women is high. As charities continue to shine a light on financial abuse we want to grow and build new partnerships so we can reach more women at such a crucial point of transition.

About domestic and family violence

Sarah Woolley is the communications officer at Quaker Social Action. Find out more about Made of Money here. Talk to us on Twitter via Guardianpublic and sign up for your free weekly Guardian Public Leaders newsletter with news and analysis sent direct to you every Thursday. Facebook Twitter Pinterest. Topics Public Leaders Network tackling financial exclusion. Reuse this content.

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